Tuesday

I went to date this post and realized I literally have NO idea what day it is - none whatsoever. I know that it is Tuesday and that we are Day6 of treatment.

I also know that we have amazing friends and family and that we are well and truly blessed. My little family is being very well taken care of while I am unable to do it and I just don't have the words to share my appreciation for ...everything.

Today we had to go in to Clinic to get lab work for Anna. It was our very first Oncology Outpatient visit and it was the first time she'd had her port accessed since it was put in - she was very very scared but was Amazing! Seriously - she is so much braver than I, no question. The worst part for her was removing the adhesive - the actual jab into her tiny chest with a large needle - freaking fantastic. I am amazed, consistently, by her attitude and behavior and what she can deal with on a daily basis.

We left the house around noon and returned home after 8 pm - long long long day. We had Anna's labs taken and then went in for a follow-up (f/u, tee hee) with the Nurse Practioner. She got a page in the middle of our visit because Anna's platelet count was 9,000. The lowest limit for transfusions is 10,000 - she was listed as critical. The cruddy thing about this is that the blood comes to the hospital from the blood bank and takes two hours to arrive. Anna and I got to hang out waiting. I didn't bring her pain meds, I brought snacks but not the right ones, especially when she really started having pain and couldn't chew or swallow. My phone died, the laptop eventually died and the room we finished the day out in didn't have patient-accessible outlets.

The platelets were about 1/2 finished and Anna perked right up - seriously, she started jabbering my ear off and then swung her legs over the rail of the bed! Scared me about half to death. Getting blood products always perks her up and makes her feel better - we can see it and hear it. I asked her if she was feeling better, "Oh yes! A Ton!"

You could tell as the day progressed that she was getting worse and worse. You could practically watch the bruises form all over her body. She was even getting bruising on her palms and the soles of her feet. She had new bruises across her back and her stomach - from basically lying all day she was bruised. It is unreal to see and five minutes later she has more bruising...It makes me afraid to touch her because touching her not only causes her physical pain depending on her levels, it also shows up on her body. Hugs cannot be very comforting.

I wanted to faint while getting an unintended peek at her port - it is still swollen and incredibly bruised - I also think, although I have NOT, nor do I intend to, check it out; I think there are stitches over a portion of the port.

Lastly, "Chemo to the Rescue" arrived on our doorstep today from some amazing friends - great great great childrens' book and explanation of leukemia and chemo, non-scary, factual and it is Very, Very, Extremely similar to exactly what is happening to Anna. I finished reading it to her and she said, "I like that book." We talked a lot about how it was similar to her and what she was doing. I also found out, "Platelets look like yellow broth and blood looks like tomato juice." Yum.

I anticipate being up with her again until 2 or 3 and hopefully, keeping my fingers crossed, we will be home all day tomorrow.